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post-it notes from the NO FUTURE: a wannabe writer in the beta: IT'S NOT JUST A PHASE I'M GOING THRU.


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wWednesday, June 01, 2005


no echo

things have happened, of that much we can be certain. very little, though, remains from the scattered clearings of (yes) the forest of my memory. let's drop a flare into my relative depths and see what catches the light.

rejection letters mass like a losing hand, the uniform characterless blanks of the unconditional no. someone even sent my synopsis back without a solitary note - a very palpable diss.

the last ICFTHS was a success. the next one is saturday. i have socialized some but not so much. i am a third of the way through the third draft of lacklove. my Tracy + the Plastics interview is to appear in a trans-european magazine that has a run of 500,000 and 5 languages and still i am not paid, hahaha hohoho hehehe.

ended up lodged in a house-cum-venue on saturday, some awful hour of the am, band burning thru rock'n'roll classics to basement crush of firelit faces as a homemade sign on the wall behind welcomed us to 'the void'. then they turned on the drum&bass and we dropped out into the garden. it got light.

yeah, it got light, we were out of drinks, the music cut and we sheltered against a wall, called taxis, found a warm room the other side of town. i stayed long enough to exchange a handful of sentences (in, like, an hour or so) walked home, slept, the etc, the etc.

maybe i cd finds something interesting to say if i thought super-hard, but, as has been observed, the past is another country and i don't speak the language (clearly untrue, but too neat in every sense to resist - forgive me).

my new word is 'ridonkulous'. it is a minor miracle i made it this far without dropping it. i have spent the last three painful days trying to find guitarish songs i can play in the club. it is not going so specially well. the songs that excite me i cdn't play at the club, and the songs i cd play in the club don't excite me. big brother will not claim my soul, o no.


posted by kicking_k at 9:26 am




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