> hey everett:
>
> heard on the grapevine the next ish is gonna be finalized this week.
> enclosed: one live review (341w) with pic. late contender? the gig
> only happened on wed - V/Vm at the Hanbury - but it was
> incredible. if yr life's lacking two men in pig masks miming
> along to a jukebox with toy guitars, this snout's for you.
>
> the style's deliberately unconventional. which i think works.
>
> anyway - hope you dig it. if not, ditch it.
>
> but keep on keepin' on regardless,
>
> kicking_k (aka karen karpenter)
>
> ps: we've met - it was my 'idea' to introduce breeders ring-tones in
> an *ironic* riposte to the NME. {{{fear}}} my promotional 5k1LL$!
>
>
Eh? Who are you?
This is all rather great in a rather worrying kind of way, or maybe I'm up too late. But I wish I'd seen it before I put together the last issue
because I reckon I might have run it. RUCK! I mean, FUCK! Shit man. Well, anyway. Tell me more about yrself, or send me more. I'm intrigued.
V/Vm: the notopian review
airing NOW on home cinema
'The gig's finished. I'm talking to the warm-up act, who spent ten minutes wrapping his head in ripped pages of porn mags. He's trying to explain exactly what it meant, or something. I'm not getting it. When he goes to explain it to someone else, a girl reads my t-shirt ("Too fast to live. Pfft.") takes my hand, and spits into my palm. Luckily, I'm still wearing the rubber glove I got from the band earlier...'
KITTY: Most people want me to be something. Dress up.
ASH: Yeah.
KITTY: You never do.
ASH: No. (Beat) I dunno - I like you - who you are.
KITTY: How d'you know this is me?
ASH: What?
KITTY: How d'you know - this is the real me?
ASH: You can't fake everything.
KITTY: You don't know what I'm like. When you're not here.
ASH:I think I do.
Silence.
KITTY: I've got a friend. Does snuff movies.
ASH: No way.
KITTY: What d'you think he does?
ASH: I - really - don't want to know.
KITTY: He dies. He's died fourteen times, every position you can imagine -
KITTY laughs, dies out into silence.
ASH: All I want is you to be - real - with me.
KITTY: I know.
continuing with the almost scary pace of updates around the place at the moment, i'm taking this opportunity to give the notopian hoardes the chance to view the it came from the seaarticle and promo shots.
...and yes, i know i look a little gothy (i'm the black-eyed brunette) - but the whole point was to play that horror movie/nightvision aesthetic ...so there.
i'm considering a rethink on the make-up front - certainly before january - going more femme/punk ('Best imaginary band name. Ever.') now i've got a steady job, should be able to make my hair exciting once more - blue highlights? more colourful cosmetics and accessories...
incidentally, my fave is the one in the bottom right, 'cause i look like a zombie with a ghetto blaster. there are a couple of vanity shots in reserve, one of which will probably replace the self-portrait to the left.
ASH: Academic-cum-prostitute. Continues with both careers – in whoring himself out while also making a study of JOHN’s perverse career thru interviews. JOHN’s increasing attachment to him – in strange paternal, incestuous way – leads to the shift in their relationship. He increasingly inserts sex into the equation – using the information he holds as a bargaining tool. ASH has fallen head over heels for KITTY – his own prostitution has spiralled as a means of affording to spend time with her. Not that he can bring himself to admit it – as far as she knows, he’s a general clerical worker...
KITTY: Goddess. Always in control, always composed. Controls the action around her without making a big deal out of it – largely thru others doing their best to please her. In terms of her attitudes, think Annie Sparkle in enlightened mode. Genuinely gets on with and likes ASH – he may even be her favourite – but there is a clear-cut difference between business and pleasure, and he’s always gonna be first and foremost a client.
JOHN: Having used sex workers for 20/30 years, explored almost every fetish and kink he could in the time... Having blown almost all his spare cash on it, having never really advanced beyond far into the more traditional forms of romance, relationships... Is middle-aged, but not a tragic character – not regretful, not lacking in memories. He has had long-term arrangements with workers, who he remembers fondly. His sitch with ASH is – unexpectedly – becoming one of those relationships... This time out, it has a different character – the fatherly angle... Not to mention the way in which he is confessing all, in turn, to a younger priest/psychoanalyst figure. His feelings for ASH not possessive, not following traditional heterosexual psychodynamic models/clichés.
SUNNY: Goth/Pagan/Dom wise-ass. Only shows respect/deference to KITTY – apparently little but scorn for ASH, ERNEST etc – though the fact she haunts their homes regularly gives the lie to this... SUNNY references the subcultures she’s involved in, but doesn’t appear to have any genuine belief in anything... Virtually everything is absolutely for effect.
ERNEST: ‘Tortured critic’. Walking anachronism – romanticises suicidal artists of the past (scorns those who talked but didn’t walk it). No obvious links to anyone in the piece, though there’s some unexplained old link to SUNNY, and he utilises ASH’s services... Maybe at least partially ‘cause he sees ASH as someone on the same intellectual level... Sex actually seems the least of his interests, though when he eventually accedes, he is gifted with the creative breakthrough he’d given up on. Further research here should involve lifestyles of decadent poets and etc – so he can better mimic them in his inimitable joyless way. Note: despite all this, ERNEST is actually the youngest character in the play.
STEVE: A wannabe-entrepreneur with (apparent) psychic powers. Involved in an almost parasitic relationship with ERNEST, whose mind he can read at will. In terms of the script, these powers are absolutely real – he can divine ERNEST’s intentions, map his moods, and read his unspoken thoughts. The problem is, ERNEST is presently the only person he can read. This is an almost unbearable intrusion for ERNEST, who is quite a private person anyway – but STEVE believes if he can understand the nature of their psychic link, he will be able to apply the model elsewhere... To this end, being a mercenary, materialistic (and crass, artless) sort, he has developed a huge, overarching business plan. Not a complete fascist, for all that – despite all their differences (and the pair are almost binary opposites, natural enemies) he does have some genuine fondness for ERNEST. Whether he understands him – despite access to all the info – is another question – constantly misreading?
HANS: Wannabe, full stop. Somewhat talented and extraverted performer whose cross-dressing is a curious mixture of transvestism and drag... He affects a sub-Wildean persona, has disappointingly macho attitudes to women... We see the end of his relationship with JAIMIE and shameless flirting with KITTY. Identifies, weirdly enough, with female artists in history – the emphasis being on those whose career was stunted, warped or thwarted by society. Holding an encyclopaedic knowledge of these – a litany of tragic heroines (plus those who made it - referencing Madonna singles and her age at the time of release). Finally, in the last scene of the play, he has adopted a new identity as artistic statement – or exploitative vehicle. Either way, it pays off.
JAIMIE: Token quiet character – her personality only really demonstrated in how it interacts with others – subsumed and oppressed by HANS’ egomania; given the room to grow by ERNEST. There is actually every possibility that JAIMIE is actually a talent in the process of finding itself. A real artist in the before phase.
WHITE: Writer in a wheelchair. His reasonable success makes him an object of veneration for many of the other characters, though his run-in with HANS is doomed from the off. While HANS wants to throw himself into some deeply-felt script dealing with WHITE’s experiences as a disabled man, WHITE’s more interested in fantasy and experimentation. A figure in the old Hollywood tradition of passionate, hell-raising directors, it doesn’t take him long to lead the rats from the sinking ship... Note: The only character who doesn’t have a name as yet – WHITE merely a placeholder.
hit by a sudden crush of melancholy. don't know what to do. i'm ready to begin the next play. i'm really looking forward to it. have already decided that this will be the play my peers like, that restores my friends' faith in me. feels like such a long time since i could honestly...
PopCult was written late 2000/early 2001. evil is fake mid 2001/early 2002. THE3RDPERSON late 2001/mid 2002. and it just makes me...
i'm learning a lot from each. i'm improving - that whole 'craft' thing. but, fuck - that's as maybe - fact is, pretty much everyone who's read them thinks each one's been worse than the last. which is just so depressing i can't even tell you.
the improvements are at the micro level. the improvements are in me. but technical mastery doesn't matter if yr judgements skewed to begin with. if you misdirect yr energy, if you make the wrong choices... you could live yr whole life improving - and piss it all away.
i don't know. venting isn't the answer. sharing just makes me feel worse. waves of - i don't know - regret, i guess. i know there's something to be said for these moments of clarity, but when all they bring is a sense of failure...
it's funny.
i always thought that my writing was not only the talent that defined me, the index of my difference - but also the booster that would give me the life i want. wouldn't it be *ironic* if it turned out to be the deadweight that dragged me down?
kicking_k says:
check this:
kicking_k says:
"she had what I call the FFL (Freshly Fucked Look)"
lolita nation says:
whoa, that's from the gap site?
kicking_k says:
the FFL. is this guy dripping with acronym charisma or what?
kicking_k says:
nah. the brothel board.
lolita nation says:
oh true
lolita nation says:
post there often?
lolita nation says:
heh
lolita nation says:
FFL
lolita nation says:
that's retarded
kicking_k says:
aww... there's a thread called 'most of all, she was kind'...
kicking_k says:
that's so sweet!
some cheap mofo's gotta pricing survey going!
kicking_k says:
that's hilarious!
lolita nation says:
is FFL a good thing?
lolita nation says:
nevermind, i don't want to know
kicking_k says:
yes. yes it is.
kicking_k says:
i'm not sure guys get FFL. they get unconscious.
lolita nation says:
ok
kicking_k says:
FFZZZZ.
lolita nation says:
thank you
lolita nation says:
for the illustration, there
lolita nation says:
you know what rednecks are?
lolita nation says:
you have those in england?
kicking_k says:
not really - in the same way - but we have jerry springer + king of the hill. no further illustration required.
lolita nation says:
right
lolita nation says:
of course.
kicking_k says:
i think yokels all over the world have a certain comforting similarity.
kicking_k says:
heh. i am a fascist.
kicking_k says:
rednecks comin' over here, takin' our chitlins...
kicking_k says:
(whatever chitlins are)
lolita nation says:
heh
lolita nation says:
they're fuckin pig intestines
lolita nation says:
gross
lolita nation says:
i hate southern food
kicking_k says:
actually - they can have my chitlins.
lolita nation says:
i hate fried chicken and greens and cornbread and barbecue and the whole fucking lot
lolita nation says:
i saw a video about jeffrey dahmer one time
kicking_k says:
?
lolita nation says:
where they interviewed his neighbor
kicking_k says:
yeah...
lolita nation says:
she said his house always smelled like chitlins
kicking_k says:
groo.
lolita nation says:
just to give you an idea of what they're like
kicking_k says:
was dahmer a redneck?
lolita nation says:
i don't think so
lolita nation says:
maybe
lolita nation says:
bundy killed several people in my town though
lolita nation says:
(((town pride)))
kicking_k says:
woo!
kicking_k says:
"Sensing my nervousness my best friend offered this sage like advice. When ever you are talking about sex or asked by a woman about sex say your "dynamite". It works every time... just tell them you are "dynamite" in bed and they will believe you."
kicking_k says:
hmm...
lolita nation says:
you know, that's totally true
lolita nation says:
heh.
kicking_k says:
"I stood outside the brothel for hours chanting "I am dynamite" over and over again till I found the courage to ring the buzzer to go inside."
lolita nation says:
are you serious?
kicking_k says:
that's so cute and pathetic.
lolita nation says:
WTF? it's a brothel
kicking_k says:
yeah - but i'm sure it's not quite as wham bam as it seems...
lolita nation says:
i wonder if they have like water-cooler conversations later "what's up with those 'dynamite' guys..."
kicking_k says:
guy in question was losing his virginity.
kicking_k says:
ha!
kicking_k says:
yeah!
lolita nation says:
interview process: would you say you are 'dynamite,' mr. smith?
kicking_k says:
i'd stand next to one and say... 'i'm a hydrogen bomb. i'm a hydrogen bomb...'
kicking_k says:
'i am THOUSANDS OF SCREAMING PEOPLE DYING IN FIRE...'
lolita nation says:
very sexy
lolita nation says:
i gotta go now
what i need right now is to switch off. what i need right now is to empty out. what i need is a dark room and a couple hours. give me a dark room. a couple hours. and a do not disturb.
...i think there's a lot to be said for disappearing. only for a short time. disappear to reappear, recharged. been pretty heavy weather recently. my days at the office and my nights given up to this whole preparatory stage of making the club happen. first there were the listings - which were a headache 'cause we had to quantify the kind of music we were playing, which was difficult. and led to sulking. then it was the ceedee. that was fun. except wen it wasn't, the nights when it wouldn't work whatever we did - y'know, the doubt... really really like it now - proud - but you can't always see the destination when you're swerving all over the road. next up was the 500-word article. again, a clash as to what we should do - stressful - mostly silent period, compromise... finally satisfied only to find the magazine we'd written it for was killed at birth a couple of days before the deadline. which was - well, delete me an expletive... still: silver lining: PR people so apologetic and guilt-wracked they say they'll use what we've got as a press release, try squeeze into one of the other local mags. we live in hope. photoshoot for said article - brighton beach sunday evening - bitter cold in a t-shirt - 20 minutes throwing shapes and, thank fuck, some usable images.
next up - flyer/poster combo, networking and mass-mailing - updating the dedicated blog and standing outside clubs in early hour chill handing propaganda to strangers.
all this means i've had to put the plays to the back of my headspace, vee temporarily. it'll be more than enough, really, realistically, if i can get The Stupids underway soon, finished over the xmas holidays. all the research, all the sketching i've done, the characterisation and the plotting, the fragments of txt that exist already - like some conceptual archipelago - like free points in a fractured graph drifting in x/y/z limbo. when i'm feeling optimistic - and i mostly am optimistic - writing this play will just be a matter of joining up the dots.
as for the dreamless schtick i begun this with - i think all i mean is that i'd like some time out. from everything. not my mind racing in the dark, not another nightmare... just some downtime. some OFF time. some no time. i think you know what i mean.
i just want the occasional shutter-click. when i'm not there.
home cinema now well-established blog of my friend and partner-in-crime, nikon driver. since our lives overlap all the time (he's my housemate too) you can think of it as a cubist companion to notopia. specialises in self-expression (rather than my own brand of self-promotion/delusion, i guess) and is peppered with some pretty luscious photography. yay!
dayglo short for 'dayglo indian goddess'. also answers to the name 'lick my plums, bitch', and every bit as kool as she sounds. smarter than yr average blog, too - content often revolves around issues of gender, sexuality and politics - and especially in how they impact upon her own life. woo!
missy x our local diaryland supremo - with a following across the states and beyond, missy don't need no hits from me - but she's one of my favourite grrls about town, and her page. breaks. hearts. banzai!
...you should know that, while you're off meeting some of my friends, i'm compiling a gargantuan catch-up post - amongst other things. come back and see me some time...
